My posts have been a bit abstract of late, I know. That’s what happens when I’m struggling with something internally, unable yet to articulate it fully to someone else. Also, I’m sidestepping around a central point of negativity. I’m perfectly aware that nobody wants to hear bitching and whining. So I’m attempting to navigate through the minefields of my strenuous days to pick out the slivers of light that still shaft through the bricolage, eternally everpresent, a golden sheen added even to shit when you look at it with the right attitude.
And ultimately, that is what it all comes down to: my attitude, my determined perception and predetermined reception of events. How close to the earth must I bend, swaying in the wind like a broken tree? Until everyone who knows of me sees only the light.
But I’m waxing sphinx-ish again. Let me discuss the things that are beautiful in my life right now: when I walk from work and I raise my eyes to the skyline to witness the waning winter afternoon orange colored light slipping across the tips of brick buildings and rooftops; when I make a child I’ve never met before smile, a light that breaks from beyond a wall of shy uncertainty; coming home to the loving exclamations of my parrot, fiancée, and tail wagging dog; when my breath is solid and full on the subway train, and I’m listening to a sitar bended over synthesized drums; when a package arrives from family or friends now far away, or when my cellphone rings; when people at work see a momentary glimpse beyond my professional facade. These are the little things that keep me fighting for tomorrow. It doesn’t take much to fill a receptive heart up with love.
In other news, I’m considering publishing a book compiled from the detritus of my past blog posts. If you have a post in mind that you would consider your favorite or that you would consider essential in such a collection, then please let me know. I’m trying to whittle the compilation down to something solid. Thanks.