My Heart, The City

In the midst of the city, the light, the electrified transmission of energy, the movement and motion towards securing a better day tomorrow, if not for oneself than at least for one’s children. The strained acceptance in the faces of the waiting people on the train, swaying together to their destinations.

The way the jagged skyline of downtown is like the electronic visualization of sound. The way our lives are organized somehow towards a possibility, a potentiality beyond our own capability, grounded in everyday effort, a struggle steeped in mystery, faith, and irrational desire, yet somehow blessed by scientific technological development, by the evolution of market economies and political entities. How we strain towards betterment, despite the worst in ourselves and each other. How we adapt and orient ourselves against the steady erosion of our world. Communities huddled together against the unknown. Killing each other, loving each other. Living, dying, blessed, bereft.

I have joined the struggle of the masses by learning to become something lesser than what I can imagine. I will subsume my burning passion to the steady and solid rootedness of the earth, of this place and time and here and now that is my life and my love and my place in the world, stabilized against the storms of change. There is no greater adventure out there, somewhere exotic in the the vast cusp of the alien distance. My struggle is to live and to die by what I know, by what I can hold onto and cultivate within me, beneath me, around me. Homeward bound.

The wind blows through me as through the arms of a tree, unharnessed, a movement betrayed only by the shuddering of its leaves. I will harness the light.

I will surround myself with a community that will support me, that I will support, reinforcing one another against the void. Allowing myself to become weakened to become tied into something stronger, something wider, something encompassing of the cosmos.

The way the transit lines pump through the arterial lines of the city like the life blood carriers of a gruesome divinity. The way a trumpet echoes through a late night subway platform. The way my heart beats with you, for you, against you, to you.

Author: manderson

I live in NYC.

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