There is a break from the world, from everything that you know or assume to be defined and verified and true. A definable rift that slashes between yourself and your self, an act of ego disassociation, a plunge into the foreign language and alien forms of a new world that defies every expectation, every learned habit and tradition and conformation falls invisibly apart, and you step naked into this unknown, all of the armor of your learning, all of the territorial savageness of your knowledge gone, swept away in the vulnerable struggle to understand.

It has to be done, this putting aside of your past, momentarily, to take on the forms of the unknown. There is no other way to create. You must open yourself, intentionally, to forces much greater than yourself, forces possibly hostile to your frail conceptions of what is. And when you come back down into yourself from out of that void, you may have to completely reinvent your understanding of yourself and your relation to your world. Your history and life experiences may be colored by a new lens, refracting of multiple points of light, expanded to fit into wider frames. You may have to step out of deadened husks of useless perspectives, discard agencies that provided years of fulfillment, shed skin that once was beautiful like long withered flowers.

This struggle of creation, this movement through yourself and into the godhead of the universe, should be the focal point of every single day. Every other action and thought should revolve around it. Otherwise, what is the use of this understanding? What is the point in going beyond what seems? The power in vulnerability is wasted by inattention. It takes a corresponding strength of concentration to push understanding through to the mundane world of action.

If you understood all of the universe, and you knew the why and wherefore of all forces that determine current existence, then how would you put this understanding to work? Would you sit back, like a tyrant king, while the world bathed your feet in its tears of despair and desire? Or would you roll up your sleeves and set about utilizing your understanding to set in motion the forces that would create something better?

In action, there is seeming contradiction, it would seem that you must descend out of understanding and into superficial adversarial roles, a chaotic mess of triviality and prejudice. But there is a core of understanding which flows to and from each and every action—taken together, these linkages lead to integrity. Momentarily, certain actions will be viewed in a negative, fragmented light. But taken as a whole, they become illuminated by a deeper understanding. If, however, your actions are not reflective of integrity, then there is no deeper understanding to be gained. You are a fish flopping on the shore, lost of context, deprived of sustenance.

In other words, descending back out of the act of creative mind expansion and into the single pointed form of action does not necessitate a loss. In fact, if what understanding you think you have gained from the lofty heights of mental exploration does not translate effectively into a daily regimen of action and appearance, then it is useless understanding. Of what use would it be to say that you understand world hunger, and yet you have not put food into the belly of strangers at your own expense? There are many people who talk about what should be done, yet little who know how to do.

The first thing to realize is that no matter how far you have broken yourself apart in the struggle to create, you can never control anything beyond your own actions. You are fundamentally limited by your own force of will. You can set in motion forces beyond yourself. But you yourself are always a part of something greater. So instead of looking to gain ultimate power and control over all of the known universe, look instead towards utilizing power and control in your immediate life, in your everyday world. Control and regulate your apartment. Empower and influence your coworkers. Utilize your divine sense of balance and speed by joining a soccer league. See what I mean? You don’t have to be a king. You don’t have to be a jester. You can be a peasant tapping into the greatest heights of understanding, enacting positive change that ripples throughout your society, unrecognizable by appearance, but known by all through the heart.


Author: manderson

I live in NYC.

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