Natural Pornography

You know, whenever I check my blog stats, I am always perturbed to find that there are always the same search strings that lead people to my site, and they generally consist of something like, “nature porn,” or “porn in nature,” simply because I entitled one post Nature Porn, in reference not to outdoor humping, but to the commercialization of nature as embodied by Yosemite National Park. It’s just frankly weird, that men (I assume they are men, but perhaps I am being sexist?) out there are doing daily multiple searches for “nature porn.” Who cares in what environment the porn takes place? You’re just watching other people have sex. Is it that you are turned on only when the sex act takes place next to the phallic imagery of trees, or by the verdent spread of grass? Or is this some kind of weird environmentalist impulse? Do people also do searches for “industrial porn,” or “office porn,” or “yacht porn”? (I guess I’ll find out from my blog stats soon enough.)

If you’ve hit upon this post because you were querying “nature porn”, perhaps you could take a second before continuing on with your research to clue the rest of the world in to this mysterious erotic fetish.


Author: manderson

I live in NYC.

3 thoughts on “Natural Pornography”

  1. Well I follow you every day from a google reader subscribtion … Does that count?

    This is funny though …for some reason I get the foot fetish searches in my blog stats. The strange thing is, I never ever talked about anything remotely related … not even feet per se.

    Thank you though …I’m still giggling.

  2. Clever!

    I went cheap-o & wrote “naked nude photos of celebrities xxx” in a couple different posts.

    Not that you were trying to be clever, but I do like the more quirky fetishes approach to manipulating pervy googlers to read your blog.

  3. FTwL, it’s nice to know someone out there is listening (in a non-fetishistic manner!). . . Perhaps you once made a post on measurements, and inadvertently used the word ‘foot.’ Or maybe a couple of ‘footballs’. Or you used the turn of the phrase ‘hand and foot’ in relation to the Canasta-like game, or maybe you hosted a discussion of the ‘hand-foot-mouth’ disease . . . There must be some subconscious feet going on in there. Hmm, perhaps some psychoanalysis of your blog is in order!

    James: I used to get an inordinate amount of hits on my blog when I first started it, because I had posted some old creative writings of mine in which I deliberately was as perverse as possible, maximizing the shock humor value. But I pulled them off this site eventually because I was disturbed that almost all of the hits I was getting were from searches for some of the most disgusting sexual perversions possible—and the people searching for them, judging by the sheer volume of the searches, didn’t enjoy them solely for humorous values. It was funny at first, and then I decided that I wanted people only to randomly arrive at my page for more relevant searches.

    I guess it would be a good thing to momentarily divert some lost soul searching for “cock in my brothers bloody anus” from their objectives. . . But I’m not wholly sure that I want to encourage such illusory linkages either!

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