It’s hard in this day and age to find the space in which you can maintain your integrity. It’s like the whole culture, all of society–even the entire world–is dead set against you finding yourself and discovering your inherent power and beauty. Everything we see and learn everyday is about tearing down other people. We watch the news and see politicians involved in scandals; we read tabloids and see famous people torn to shreds; we talk to our friends and gossip other people to pieces. Everything is about destroying each other. And eventually, all that this really seems to be about is avoiding the fact that we can’t face ourselves. We can’t face ourselves because we know just how easily we too would crumble in the face of a world that only wants to see us fail.
Words and perceptions have an incredible power–to speak against someone is to speak an incantation, a spell, a curse. To weave a mindset of dark expectations and negative hidden agendas. This builds into a web that strings them down, weighs into their actions like molasses. I know this because I have felt this from other people before, without even knowing what kind of words they might have spoken in privacy. It doesn’t matter what the words are–it is the intent, the perception that builds a force against you. It is the feeling that it almost doesn’t even matter what you do; that in order to change this negative mindset you would have to be a saint, impervious to expectation and the pull of others’ desires and dislikes.
To love someone means that at some point you must let go of your expectations of them. Whether you are a parent, a lover, or a stranger. How can anyone be themselves unless they have the space in which to create their own selfhood?