As I get older, I am growing to learn myself. As I grow to know myself, I become more and more aware of the life around me as well as inside of me, and I become more and more aware of the need to pay more attention to this life, and care for it. The wildflowers, the trees, the scurrying rodents, everything. I want to learn their functions, their relationships, I want to know the names given to them by our inaccurate methods of labeling.
A belated discovery for me in life is that I love to learn. I didn’t feel that way when I was in college–which just goes to show that I shouldn’t have wasted my time with it until I knew what I really wanted to invest my time and effort in. Now I’m gaining a better idea of what I’m interested in–I want to learn how to garden, how to build water systems, how to fix my car, how to cook well with whatever I’ve got on hand, how to make a splint out of sticks. There’s tons of shit I want to learn, and I’ve barely gotten started on it. I kind of wish that I had realized this 10 years ago and started cracking back then–but I suppose it’s better late than never–and those last 10 years I’ve been learning things too–learning how to get to the point where I could see more clearly my goals and how to attain them. I think, in some way, I’ve always known what I’ve wanted. It was simply a matter of gaining the insight apart from all the other things people wanted for me.