Portion of an email to a friend long ago


Dec 4 1997

  

Trees leading to the sky,
breathing a sentience
of the vast deep shafts of fire
that undulate like a building
ecstacy beneath cool surfaces.
The point
is to get as high as you can
they scream, waving their green tentacles
like manic windshield wipers in the rain.

        The beginning of a structured idea.  A whale-road.
        Ok, so it's like this.  Life is all about practice.  Just like in anything, you gotta relearn everything every day until you're a fucking guru.  And then you're just a big child, wrapped in the bosom of the sky.
        Or.  In order to see, you must free yourself from yourself.  So, you gotta throw out these fucking words, throw out the beliefs, throw out the past, throw out the future, throw out everything that you ever had ever were and ever will be.  And then you stand at your window and look at all that shit on the ground and you say, this is it, this is it this is really it. Jesus knockin on your fingertip.  Buddha in your flowerpot.
        And.  It always comes back to those elves, in the end, my friend. They're your little arab friends, tugging at your sleeves in the white-washed halls of a museum, in the garbage draped concrete of an alley, offering you glimpses of another world.  hey, try this shit, it's good, they call.  You gotta take em all on, one by one.  Eventually you'll be so big that you fill the cosmos with your being.  It's about how much you understand.
        It's about how far you can see.  Hell dude, sometimes I look at my nose and I can't even grasp just what the fuck it is.  Inner mounting flame. Downward on distended wing.  
        IT's about nature.  It's about loving and fearing those big groups of trees.  It's about roots, about limbs.  It's not about filling yourself up.  It's about filling the sky with your self.  And then it's not yours anymore, it's everyone's.  It's always been, it just takes guts to realize. The fact that you're dead even while you're living, that you're water even while you're fire.
        Anyways, I'm sure you get the idea by now.  I think what it comes down to is expansion of the mind.  Isn't that what it's about?  That's what I think for right now, anyhoo.  

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Author: manderson

I live in NYC.

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