On Freaking


I was out all night dancing, swerving like a spastic snake, and I’ve got that exhausted after-glow after a good night. I just had a couple of words for the ladies out there who like to go out to clubs and shake what they’re god given: Look, if you want me to dry hump your ass, that’s all fine and well, I’ve got just as much mongrel in me as any other guy. But I’d really rather see your face first and dance with you. Please don’t do that “ass present” thing that all the other girls on the dance floor do–you know what I mean, where you give me a little backwards glance and then position yourself so that your ass is directly in front of my crotch. It’s very flattering that you’re so ready and willing to be dry humped so soon in our relationship. But I kind of like to move more than just my crotch when I dance–and while I am highly interested in you and your fine ass, I am not necessarily ready to move to that level so quickly. Let’s get to look at each other a little bit first, check out each other’s moves, make some eye contact, make it something a little more personal and special. I mean, do you really like being treated like just another leg to dry hump? I’m not trying to say that I want to marry you because you’re cute and you are dancing with me. I’m just saying that you could give more than my crotch a chance when we dance.

Anyway, had to get that off my chest. I just find the whole dry hump dance thing (aka freaking) a little weird sometimes. It really makes me miss the music and dancing in South America. Down there they do the dry humping to pop tainted ‘hip hop’ too, but what I really love is the merengue and salsa, where the dancing is sensual as opposed to sexual. Instead of just rubbing one’s crotch against the girl’s ass, one actually has to demonstrate some dancing prowess, and look into her eyes. Yeah, I know, there’s salsa clubs in the states too. I’m just bitching because the dominant form of dancing is freaking. Look, it just don’t take much skill to dry hump on the dance floor. We’re all trying to get some love and express our appreciation of each other’s bodies–that’s the whole beauty and fun in dance. But there sure should be a lot more to it than just our sex organs.

The club we went to was playing pretty run of the mill boring 4/4 electronic beats, so I guess I can’t really blame most people for doing little more than moving their crotches up and down. But once upon a time, back when I was a young whippersnapper, techno music wasn’t just about trying to hook up with a girl. It was about expressing freedom and love through dance. Now it seems like it’s become so commodified that house music is just for dry humping in expensive and trendy clubs.

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Author: manderson

I live in NYC.

14 thoughts on “On Freaking”

  1. “…what I really love is the merengue and salsa, where the dancing is sensual as opposed to sexual. Instead of just rubbing one’s crotch against the girl’s ass, one actually has to demonstrate some dancing prowess, and look into her eyes.”

    You’re a cool dude.

    “I’m just bitching because the dominant form of dancing is freaking. ”

    Woe. Didn’t know.

    “We’re all trying to get some love and express our appreciation of each other’s bodies–that’s the whole beauty and fun in dance. But there sure should be a lot more to it than just our sex organs.”

    Gee — I wanna go dance now. As long as it’s your eyes I can look into.

  2. Most females if not all females I know would consider the act of u to prefer to dance in front of them opposed to behind thus riding their ass as being homosexual!

  3. You ever been to a club, Mac? Ever notice how 70-75% of the females are dancing with men? They’re getting they asses rode. If they think that’s homosexual, then I’m just really confused about the whole matter.

  4. Dear Mac,

    Are you saying that riding a female’s ass in a club proves your masculinity??

    Concerning the females you know that would consider dancing face to face a ‘homosexual act’. First, if I had to say something positive about girls like that, it would be that I’m glad they’re willing to take on all the scummy guys into their lives and leave the real gentlemen to the females that respect themselves.

    Secondly, if you think that dancing with someone in the ‘classic’ way may lead to people thinking you’re not straight, you have some serious homophobic tendencies that need to be addressed. I wish you luck in your dealings with that and hope that your pent up fear doesn’t cause an action in your future that you may later regret.

  5. JSM, I thought Mac was saying that girls preferred guys dancing in front, and that to ride their ass was homosexual. . . But then again, I’m re-reading what he said and it is a bit confusing as to how he intended it. . .I’m not really sure

  6. Wow I just peeked in, didn’t realized I caused some controversy with my initial comment. JSM I’m far from being homophobic or what ever since I have gay friends and on occasions do go to gay bars but ofcourse prefer the opposite sex and go to straight clubs and go on a humping rampage with all the girls. I guess my comment was confusing, Yes most girls 70-75% like being dry humped from the back for various reasons which I later found out. Thats why I wanted to share it with u guys with out insulting anyone it was just comments I’ve heard from many girls since im known in my circle us the club humper. I’m not sure why but as far as I remember since I saw girls grinding at the JHS prom I just always liked dancing that way. Anyways girls dancing that way can tell how easily you can get excited, can also determine the size of your penus, can tell how good you are in bed (I guess how well u move on the dance floor and/or how freaky, thus im assuming many positions not just one). The last one I only found out recently which is if you prefer to dance in front of them opposed to behind them they assume you’re homosexual. I don’t know why I also thought that was weird but hey don’t kill the messenger.

  7. Well, that’s news to me! Thanks for the insight. Also, thanks for clarifying your original statement, cuz it definitely wasn’t clear at first.
    I guess I’m just gonna have to deal with assumptions that I’m homosexual because a) I actually like going out to a club JUST for dancing, and b) I don’t really like the club humping thing so I either try to dance in front of the girl or just dance around her general vicinity. Ah well, what can you do? I know when I was dancing in South America that the girls definitely didn’t assume that I was homosexual, so maybe it’s an American girl thing.

  8. Mac.
    I don’t in any way want to deter you from from continuing to read this blog and commenting, or any blog for that matter. I’m sorry if I caused you to feel attacked. However, my opinion of your statement still stands…so here is to different opinions.

  9. Ok first of all girls or the ones that dance this way don’t go to a club that night to meet thier future husbands, same with guys right(meeting their future wifes)! Bubbler you make it seem like thats what you do go for even though you say you don’t. The average girl goes to a club(the type of clubs we are talking about) because they want to feel beautiful, sexy, at least for one night or that night. Because I can almost guarantee the real sluts are by the bar or in the corners trying to discretely get their groove on. The ones that are dancing wild and crazy are doing it because they are probably backed up(if u know what I mean). For the most part in more of a decade of clubbing I have come to these conclusions. So them assuming initially that you are a homosexual if you don’t want to grind them is kind of understandable when they are expecting that the average guy is their for one thing.

  10. Well, Mac, you’re right in that when I used to go out to clubs, I was looking for a girl to get down with. However, there is a difference: I wasn’t actually EXPECTING to meet a girl who I would actually like as anything more than a freaky ho. And like I said, I’m not really that into freaky ho’s, although if they press their ass into my crotch, I’m not going to complain. So instead of hunting for chicks, I just would say “fuck it” and try to have a good time, get my drink on a little bit, and then start shaking my bones. I really do just like dancing, without any ulterior motives. Once I start dancing, I could care less about trying to hook up with freaky hos.
    I really doubt that girls think that I am homosexual because of this. I don’t think that they are lesbian when they start freaking each other (usually in order to ward off aggressive guys). To me, going out to a club is about having a good time. And I think you’re right, most girls want to go out and their idea of having a good time is getting their groove on in a freaky way. That’s a socially learned thing, in my opinion. It doesn’t have to be that way. What it comes down to, one way or the other, it having a good time, period. If that involves dry humping, hey, I don’t really care. It just bothers me when that’s the ONLY thing that guys are there for, and it’s just over the top sleazy.

  11. My take: there are tons of clubs in NYC, and there are very few that I’ll go into. I agree with you, Bubbler, when you say that salsa and any other latin dance is so much more sensual–it engages the entire person. Freaking is…uh…freaky. There’s a boiled-down animalistic way to it that turns me off. Also, the whole freaking thing IS nothing more than a socially taught “style”…I can’t imagine any girl actually thinking of dancing that way on their own. So, yes to “real” dancing, a resounding no to freaking.

  12. Yeah, it’s just a little too blatant and primitive really. It’s like if you want to have sex, than go have sex. But if you want to dance, then DANCE, not just thrust your behind backwards.

  13. I do agree to a point with thejillilator that freaking is a socially taught style and that’s what most women are exposed to when they first go to clubs.

    But not only that, it is also that most girls learn to dance, well… at school dances and such, do you think they get a lot of other exposure to other styles or ways of dancing?? And I believe its not like they wanna have sex with you anyways when they first meet you.

    This so called shake my ass towards you freaking they do is a way to be sexy on the dance floor and still have fun dancing without feeling commited or interested in a guy. You see girls know that guys like it so they do it for fun. They dance, shake the ass and then move on. And to them its harmless fun.

    Reason being that facing each other is a lot more confrontational and therefore puts women in an uncomfortable feeling whether they know it or not. So, they do the turn my back towards you thing which makes it easier to dance with a guy and still be a bit freaky (most women are)and not feel as uncomfortable.

    Definitely the latin dances such as merengue, salsa, cha cha and so forth are by nature sensual. The latin culture is very sensual and expressive which is shown through their dancing. Also you never go wrong when you learn how to dance merengue or salsa because women dig a guy who can dance and I don’t mean freaking either.

    So, I say forget the regular dance clubs out there and go to places where they have latin dancing!

  14. Oh yeah, I definitely agree. I would forgo the regular clubs if I had a choice—unfortunately, the only place to go out dancing here is at the casinos, and their clubs are most decidedly conventional. So when I want to go dancing, I just have to put up with the crappy top-40-music-from-5-years-ago and freaky freaky dancing in order to have a good time. . . But that, fortunately, is soon to change. I will get my salsa dancing on in Colombia.

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