Thoughts and Feelings On the Cusp of Evening

Estoy muy cansado ahora mismo, no estoy acostumbrado a trabajar. He bebido un rompecalzón, y mis memorias venido inundando en mi corazon. Si, tengo un poco conmoción a mi corazon con la cambiado de cultura y lugar. Todo esta diferente aquí, la comida, la gente, todo.

Coming back to where I have all my “things” stored, I discover I have too much. I had been living out of one piece of small luggage for the past three months, and I had everything I needed, minus Chartreuse and my stereo and my drums, of course. But all this other crap, what do I need it for? All I really need is a floor to crash on, my sleeping bag, some food cooked with love, some good music, and a little glass of whisky or vino. I don’t ask for much, really.

I have to admit that this “peak oil” thing really freaks me out. I’ve been realizing lately just how much the thought that we are quickly approaching the dawn of an apocalyptic era of reckoning has been lurking in the back of my mind and changing the way I look at everything. Everytime I think of anything remotely related to the future, I think–rather selfishly, I might add–of what I need to be doing now to be able to survive during a time in which I can no longer be dependent on corporate super-structures to supply my every need. Before I ever became aware of the idea that the world as we know it might come to an end, I had already been thinking along these lines, simply in terms of sustainable lifestyles and being less dependent on power structures which rely on inequality and suffering in order to make my life numb and complacent.
Whatever one may think of the “peak oil” thing, I think it isn’t really a big secret that the world as a whole, and we in the United States in particular, will have to drastically alter our habits if we wish our grandchildren to realize the potential that many have been squandering so greedily in pursuit of fleeting comfort and rapid growth.
That is not to say that I am pessimistic in any way for the future of humanity. But I believe that if we are to face the future and its challenge to our existence, we must face it with full awareness of what the worst to come may be.
Just as I must face my own future head-on, and seek to realize what potential I carry within my heart. All of the events and people in my life have served to bring me to the point of now. There are constant decisions that I must make in order to decide who I want to be. I have been waiting long enough to be told. And now I must learn myself.


Author: manderson

I live in NYC.

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