Learning a new language is teaching me about the importance not simply of words, but the connections which bind them together and imbue them with immediate and specific meaning. The words themselves are only meaningful within a context, a framework, a sea of personal signification. Because words express feelings, they express a flow of thought, the spitfire sparks of synapses in response to stimuli. They are cars transporting desire and love and life and death.
The hardest part for me in learning a new language is trying to force myself to accept irregularities within the language that don’t make any logical sense. I have to just accept that I have to memorize this shit and live with it and learn to use it. Another hard thing for me is that when studying, I will think that I understand and remember what I am studying–and when I sit down with a piece of paper I do remember it–but in actual application in real life I won’t be able to use it.
A language is not academic–it must be utilized, because it is not through memory or understanding of grammatical laws alone that it is learned–it is learned by the slow and stubborn process of opening one’s perceptions to a new way of being, of seeing, forging new connections in the mind between visualizations and words. You have to learn how to think in a new way, and this is why my mind rebels–it wants to figure shit out based on my prior understanding. Just got to jump in and start swimming

Author: manderson

I live in NYC.

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