The wind from out of the Sierras
blows into the depths of my heart,
and in a hurricane of drunkenness
I grasp out in the darkness for lines
to myself that can sustain hope.
It is like searching for a fish
in the middle of the deep sea
without a hook.
I fall into this space within myself,
again and again,
learning over and over again
where to place my fear
and my suffering to climb back into the light.
I forget that it is there.
I forget that it is there and then suddenly
none of the outside world can reach me,
and there is nothing I can say
and there is noone who can understand.
God, divine interconnected fabric of the universe:
give me a golden thread to find some source
of joy in the midst of such sorrow.