The Cock Crows Three Times


Here’s a little anti-rant against my own ranting. A piece of writing written in rebuff against its own past already written. I hate writing these indignant things about Bush and current events and then reading back over them and seeing the single-simple-mindedness of it all. I know even as I write it that I am settling for rhetoric over substance, for substance is not so easily confined to righteousness. Not that the two cannot meet, but when they do, it tends not to be in the forum of blame and anger. As if to be so naive to say that because one does not agree with George W Bush then one should become a Democrat, to solve all the world’s problems.

And another thing I can say with all due respect is fuck Republicans and fuck Democrats alike and equally. Fuck anyone who would spin events to construct a false reality based on strategic motives. Such as myself when I grow weak and feel the need to associate myself with political ambitions. We all do it for different reasons. I do it because I want to believe in something, I want to feel self-righteous, I want to feel that I can quell the destructive consequences of the structures I live within.

But there is only one thing which I can control in my life. I can control how I perceive things. That is a power that I have that no one can take from me if I refuse to relinquish it.

I forget sometimes and begin to think that there is this notion of “the people” and there is this notion of “the state.” As if “the people” were some coherent entity, gaining awareness, moving in a certain direction. As if “the state” were this repressive consciousness, manifested in billy clubs and guns and hoarded money. But all there really is are structures of definition. Avenues of coherence, paths of articulation. Watch a fish swim for long enough and you will begin to notice its personality. Everything has a line of understanding that can be hooked into invisibility. Pull it up and unearth the life living with or without your desire.

The only politics that I can speak with some authority upon is the politics of my life.

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Author: manderson

I live in NYC.

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