I went for a walk today to loosen the limbs and listen to the sound of wind blowing down off the mountains through the trees. Already fall is felt in the air. Another cycle wends its way in time, completing another imaginary circle in the void, the tonic key touched down upon in a new field of harmonics, a new light. I similarly felt new and old as my sandaled feet melded themselves to the rocks. 26, and yet I can still travel the same neural pathways in my brain that I remember traveling when I was 11. I thought of how in some ways I have grown, how in others I have dropped off. The tendrils of my mind adapted to catch the trickle of light, the roots of memory following the flow of water. What am I really anyway but a vessel of energy, reflecting its passage onward through all other things?
One area in which I can see growth in myself is that my fear of other people has diminished greatly since childhood. Humanity is certainly a force to respect as in accordance to all living things, but there is nothing greater to fear in us than life itself, I’ve come to realize. Because I used to fear myself and what power lurked within me. But that power is nothing beyond each breath. To harness any kind of real power, any kind of real force beyond the threat of violence and persecution, means being completely aware of one’s breath, one’s life-force saturating itself deep within from without. And to harness that kind of power takes a lifetime of humble servitude. And when it is gained, it is not contained, it is spread.
On this path to gaining life and awareness, I am still at day one, I am a newborn, struggling with my breath and the pain and the shock of miscommunications. What matter is it of my age or the season when I can’t see beyond the point of my own nose?