Set Up


jacob scaled his fire escape to the 3rd floor and pushed up his window and
slipped into his room dukes of hazards styles, knocking over a glass of last
night’s scotch. he did a jig of pure joy, slapping his ankles and twisting
into a pile of clothes on the floor. it was hard to believe that it was
real, and yet it was, god fucking-a, it was, this feeling of belly
shuttering ecstasy, this love, this world of raw pleasure that he had
forgotten could ever exist. he pulled out his pipe from his desk drawer and
packed it chock-full of hash, giggling insanely. one hit a two hit a three
hit, all in a row, getting fucked up now, not enough, four a five a seis, a
sex, a two multiplied by a three, resultant in an exponential increase in
explosive sensory information. what was this his heart was saying? this
was unbelievable, that his own bodily mechanisms could speak to him in firey
chemical rhythmic tongues. alive, alive alive! conscious movement, jacob
practiced tai chi to aphex twin in his boxers. water! food! this was
amazing. yet it could be regulated, channeled, communicated. he picked up
the phone and dialed the now instinctual number.
“yeah?”
he jumped up and down. “honey goddess baby queen.” his mind’s noise
suddenly quelled.
“hey sweetie. what’s goin on?”
“i am scaling heights i couldn’t ever have imagined a whole day ago, a whole
universe away, like so fast that i feel g-forces. shit. i feel so fucking
good!”
she laughed shyly. “yeah, i think i know what you mean. you’re fucking
crazy, you know? i love you.” she paused, looking out the window. “i need
to finish my work. i’ll talk to you soon” she hung up. he hung up.
the silence reverberated with cosmic force. jacob wanted to cry, his heart
was an open wound, his mind was upside down, his body ached for immediate
enwrapped alien warmth. he laughed. life was so fucking amazing. it was a
rollercoaster, it was a movie, it was a cup washing over the rim into
aether, it was ink sloshing into indecipherable patterns, it was beautiful,
it was horrendous, it was shocking and powerful and new.
“for good. for good for good for good,” jacob whispered to himself as he
rocked, clutching his knees. “always use this energy for good. it is not
yours. it is not for you. this is for everyone. this is for the world.
this is for what all of us thought was missing. it is here, it is
everywhere, it is in her eyes and her hair and the sucking sea sound of
sweat between our bodies. wonder! wonder! wonder! i am in love. i am in
love and i am frightened. i am in love and i am insanely happy. i can feel
the blood pushing through my veins to the pulse of my heart. i can feel the
heat of astral connection spreading throughout my limbs. i can hear the
sound of my dreams resonate in the hollows of my brain. i have been here
before. i am here. in this, the deadly still center of the eye of the
storm. i am incredibly lonely. i am incredibly hungry. i can never get
enough, enough of her.” he smiled sadly. “for good, for good for good for
good. she is not mine. and i am in love.”

Advertisements

Author: manderson

I live in NYC.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s