Janused Coin of Suffering, Which is the Side to Land Cat Down?


connecting to someone is a sad thing. it is a sad thing because when you
finally share with this person your heart, and they have the power and the
ability to look into you and see you as you really might be, then when they
turn away into themselves, they leave you feeling the falling down into
infinite darkness. you fall down, and down. because you begin to believe
that this person could love you. and they do. and you are still
not good
enough.
not good enough to be everything. not good enough to be nothing. not good
enough to be anything but the mundane human child crying out to be cradled
mindlessly into oblivion.
because you want. because you create out of reality a world which does not
exist anywhere except in your mind. because you are not willing to
sacrifice your wants
for another’s needs.

connecting to someone is a happy thing. it is a happy thing because when
someone finally shares with you their heart, and you have the power and the
ability to look into them and see them as they really are, then when you
turn into yourself in wonder, you discover that you are flying, that you are
floating on the wings of god. and you believe that you can love this
person. and you do. and you love them so much
that you can let them go.
you love them so much that you can let them be themselves. you love them so
much that you don’t need to keep pieces of them for yourself. you love them
so much that you can give them as much as they truly require.
because you know. because you accept. because you relinquish your power.
because you devote yourself to something which is higher than any one person
could ever be.

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Author: manderson

I live in NYC.

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