Watch the Movie

past the obvious, there is, of course, the not-so-obvious–and beyond that there is Captain Cream. but irregardless of the endless stream of permutations that a helix could create, there is an ultimate sense of, how else to say it, BLUENESS. like the energy that you can see manifested when you stare at a white wall and stop focusing on the wall–maybe it’s different to you: jimi must have seen it purple. i’ll say blue because i feel it as blue–when it flows, it’s all heavy, all beautiful in a distant sort of way the way a blue sky can be. minds me of a dream i had when I was like 9. i would run and turn into a dragon and fly up into the sky and through a trapdoor in the sky that would take me to a place that was wonderful, mysterious, secret, inhabited by a motherly female–it was like an apartment in an alternate universe, everything was black and white and objects kept moving around and changing into something else and it was like that strange perverse universe that children enter into when they play the role games that adults wistfully and somewhat sheepishly emulate in hollywood movies. and when i woke up i was real sad because it was so real, because damn it felt right and it would never come back, i would never fly. took me a decade to figure out that all that is real, all the dreams, all the gossip, all the stories and myths that people jizz out like sprinklers in their mind and all the sentences you stop and cross out and throw in the can. now i know i’ve got it, all the time, the trapdoor in my head, the dragon in my spine. it’s always there, blue, waiting.

Author: manderson

I live in NYC.

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